While dating the average woman will have her heart broken twice before she meets “The One,” according to a study of 2,000 British men and women by eHarmony. In fact, the road to finding lasting love while dating is a statistically rocky one.
For women, the average while dating is:
- 15 Men kissed
- 4 Disaster Dates
- 2 Heartbreaks
- 1 Time cheated on
Your marriage may or may not be perfect, but aren’t you glad you’re done with the uncertainty of dating? Men don’t escape dating unscathed either. Statistically, they’ll be stood up twice, get cheated on once, and have six one-night-stands before meeting the Mrs.
You’d think that with eHarmony dating driving the research, all these tales would end with “And they lived happily ever after, thanks in large part to our dating website.” But they actually took the research in an interesting direction, finding some unexpected insights: More than 25 percent of those surveyed said their current partner isn’t the type of person they had envisioned themselves with – and more than 50 percent described their partner as a total opposite.
Viewing your partner as your “opposite” sends up a warning flag for me. Relationships are more nuanced than that, and to fully appreciate your partner, I think it would help to see them in terms of their psychological drivers, rather than focusing on their differences. Yes, eHarmony’s study sheds some light on the trials (and errors) of dating, but the road to a happy relationship doesn’t come to an end at the alter!
What I do like is that “the one” obviously doesn’t mean a perfect person, just the right person for you. You may have a lot in common or a little, but the most important factor in a happy marriage is whether you both want to be good to each other. Understanding the Four Drivers will help you do that!