The Good and Bad of Being Gregarious

Are you married to a Gregarious? Unless you know what Drivers are influencing your marriage, you’ll have a difficult time giving your spouse what he or she needs to thrive. Every person is largely directed by one or two Drivers, or what I call “I need” forces, that influence how they act and what they want. Understanding which Drivers are affecting your marriage is the first step towards building a better future for you and your spouse. Here is a profile of the first Driver: Gregarious.

Positive Expression

The Gregarious spouse seeks connection and bonding with you and other people. They need to feel liked, accepted and loved and may become members of a church, club, or team to satisfy that desire. They are fun, friendly and outgoing people with charming personalities, but they need a constant flow of attention and reassurance to feel happy and secure in their relationships.

Negative Expression

When the Gregarious isn’t getting the attention they crave, they may seek attention in negative ways like substance abuse or eating disorders (eating too much or too little). Feeling distant from a spouse will aggravate these issues.

How Best to Treat Your Gregarious Spouse

Your Gregarious spouse is looking for love, bonding and acceptance, so spending quality time with him or her will help bring out their positive expression. To help your spouse feel connected, try writing a list of all the things you like and love about him or her, and reading your list to your spouse. Continue the positive reinforcement by frequently mentioning the positive traits on your list when you have conversations with your spouse.

A happy, satisfied, connected Gregarious spouse is a wonderful, caring and nurturing partner – as long as you show your appreciation! For more information about the Four Drivers, take the Drivers Test. Take the test with your partner today to gain insight into your deepest motivations and create the happiest, healthiest marriage possible!

About the Author:

Founder of Marriage Academy, Inc., Dr. Gomez is a licensed physician, a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Founding Fellow of the Institute of Coaching Professional Association at Harvard University Medical School and member of the Harvard Business Review Advisory Council. Dr. Gomez’ extensive experience and his passion for helping couples enrich their marriages led him to develop the unique and highly acclaimed Marriage Academy program.