A new book called The Science of Happily Ever After by Dr. Ty Tashiro says people can significantly increase their chances of living “happily ever after” by limiting their partner wish list to just their top three wishes. While his book is geared toward singles, I think the key insight that can benefit even married couples is this: You can’t have everything.
That’s what his “3 wishes” really is about. You can’t have everything. Nobody is perfect, much less the spouse you’ve been married to for 20 years! In Dr. Tashiro’s observations, people in dating situations often spend 2-3 wishes on the wrong things, like looks and money – and the odds of finding a single 6-foot millionaire are slim. His advice isn’t to settle for less in the face of statistical realities, but rather to concentrate on three characteristics you believe will make for a long and happy partnership. Once again, his insights translate well for both singles and couples, because he argues that what really matters isn’t money, height, weight or hair color; it’s being humble, agreeable, kind, and essentially, nice.
Be Nice for a Happy Partnership
When two people are nice, the odds of a happy partnership sway heavily in their favor. Sounds simple, right? We all consider ourselves to be “nice” people. But he partially defines “nice” as having a willingness to yield in disagreements, and not keeping score of who won (or lost).
A good partnership counselor works to help couples learn to yield and compromise gracefully. I would argue that understanding yours and your mate’s Drivers also helps in finding amicable solutions to disagreements, and in being “nice.” After all, niceness and kindness are both caretaking behaviors, and nothing is more caretaking than understanding what your partner needs most and providing it.
If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’ve already made your “3 wishes.” For marital success, the next step is to treat your partner kindly. If you and your partner are having marital problems, consider downloading a free chapter from Brian Tracy’s best-selling book; The Ultimate Success Guide.
In this chapter I will reveal to you the seven steps that I asked one couple to take during my thirty-day coaching program. The seven steps are available online which will completely transform your relationship.