In this audio, Dr. Jose Gomez will teach you the three most destructive habits during an argument that can truly kill your marriage. Some people blame their failed marriages on the actions of their spouse. Others will blame financial hardship or familial stressors. However, many happily married couples also have financial limitations, severe illnesses or some other types of personal hardships. Success or failure depends on how they HANDLE the challenges that arise in their marriage.
These are the three most destructive fighting habits:
- Invalidation. This is when one spouse uses putdowns and discounts, frequently cited as “just teasing”; or when there is severe verbal abuse that nullifies the other spouse.
- Withdrawal. This happens when a couple fighting and one of the spouses gets very angry, and the other spouse stops talking or leaves the conversation and nothing is resolved.
- Denying emotions. This is when a couple hides their negative emotions, and pretends that everything is OK.
It’s possible to change these habits. The next time you need to discuss a sensitive issue with your spouse, keep in mind these three goals:
- Take turns talking, and listen carefully.
- Start with the assumption that both of you have good reasons for your opinions and your feelings.
- Realize that your goal during an argument is not to “win”, but rather to find a mutually agreeable solution.
By keeping these 3 goals in mind during an argument, you are on your way to a successful marriage!